Turn Back the Dawn Page 5

  Kate tried to concentrate on the auditions. As they went on with faltering lines, misinterpreted inflections, halting movements, Kate's heart went out to the auditioners; but she was viewing it all dispassionately as well, interested more in the performances than in the actors' hopeful, tentative smiles and gentle looks of disappointment as they left the stage.

  And she was amazed that her initial intuition about Alexandra Dayton had turned out to be correct: she was

  a shining star among amateurs, someone who made her otherwise unremarkable partner shine as well. Within moments this rather dull young man had a sparkle in his eye and a verve in his voice that had been absent only seconds before. Alexandra Dayton was clearly one of those performers who could imbue her partner, if only temporarily, with the same magic she possessed herself. And Kate wanted her for the campaign. Yet she had questions and qualms. Alexandra Dayton was Dick Dayton's niece. What if there were problems, and they had to fire the young woman from the campaign? Kate had an instinct: right now, freedom in the campaign was of the utmost importance. Yet, as she looked at Alexandra, at the young woman's obvious beauty and presence, she wondered whether she wasn't in fact being too cautious; taking chances was what success in business was all about. She simply didn't know. . . .

  After Alexandra and her partner had finished, Ben leaned over to Kate and whispered, "No question—she's the one."

  "I have some questions," she said quietly. "We'll talk about it later."

  Kate watched the rest of the auditions carefully, trying to keep an open mind about the rest of the performers. But it didn't take much eifort or discernment; there were two different leagues at work—amateur and professional— and Alexandra Dayton was the only member of the latter group. Which meant that Kate had to make a tough decision.

  After all the auditioners had left, Ben and Kate moved to the front of the room and sat down with Coates and his assistant.

  Ben lit his pipe, leaned back, and looked at Kate and Andrew. "No question in my mind. We have one call-back and one call-back only. Alexandra Dayton. The rest we can forget about for now."

  Andrew Coates nodded. "Agreed by me. That girl was spectacular." The young woman at his side nodded. Ben looked at Kate. "Kate?"

  She sighed. "I agree, except for the fact that she's Dick Dayton's niece. It makes me nervous."

  "She was perfect, Kate," Ben said.

  "I agree," she said. "There was no comparison—and I'm sure that would be true in future auditions. But I just have a feeling. An intuition."

  Ben looked at her carefully. "Perhaps we'd better discuss this ourselves, Kate," he said coldly, "and let Andrew and Laura get back to their other work." He stood up. "Andrew, Laura, I'll talk to you before the day is out." And he motioned for Kate to come with him.

  She said good-bye to Andrew and Laura and followed Ben out, furious that he had ended the meeting so abruptly, she was furious at herself for not having said anything.

  They went into his office, now flooded with midmorning sun, and Ben closed the door.

  "Is something wrong?" he asked, coming over to where she stood by the window. He smiled. "Did I detect waves of anger coming from you as we walked down the hall, or was that just my imagination?"

  She smiled at the description, but grew serious again. "I am angry, Ben. Because of—because of our relationship, you seem to think that you can speak for me, make my decisions for me, cut me off.. .." Her voice trailed off. He looked mystified, and she was suddenly unsure of her

  words.

  "Why?" he asked. "Because I give my opinion, and advise you as I'm supposed to? And because I save time by talking with you myself instead of having everyone in the agency in on it? Kate, I'm just doing my job." He reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. "And I'm doing it as well as I possibly can—because of my feelings for you."

  "But you don't even listen to what I'm saying. You were so sure back there in the casting room that Alexandra Dayton was perfect that we didn't even get a chance to discuss any of the others."

  He drew his head back in surprise and took his hand away from her cheek. "The others? What others? Alexandra Dayton or not, they weren't right for call-backs—and you know that."

  For a few moments there was silence. Kate looked out the window, Ben looked at Kate. When she turned and met his eyes, she was swept with confusion. He was so wonderful-looking, with his deep, dark-lashed eyes, the smile lines at the corners that made her want to smile herself, his easy masculinity. It was so easy to like him. But when he went against her, as now, it made her realize how little she knew him: his warmth and affection were not all that he was made up of. She was being swept along a river whose direction she didn't know.

  She looked out the window again, as if the outer world would give her strength for what she had to say. "I don't think we should see each other tonight," she said quietly.

  'Why not?"

  She turned and faced him. "It's ... interfering already.

  I'm sure you see that. And you yourself have said that this campaign is of critical importance because it's the first one I've been in charge of at I and S." She sighed. "Don't you see?"

  "I see that you're not telling me something," he said quietly. "And that's certainly your prerogative. But I wish y ou would be honest, Kate. You know as well as I that my you—and being interested in you—hasn't interfered with anything one bit. So it must be something else." He looked into her eyes. "That first thing that comes to mind is that you're just not interested."

  Her heart jumped; he had to know that wasn't true. 'That isn't it," she said. "Believe me."

  "Is it that you want to be friends only?" he asked softly.

  She caught his gaze in hers. "You know that's not true," she answered.

  "Then tell me, Kate—I'm not a mind reader."

  He stepped forward and put his hands at her waist.

  "Don't," she said, but she felt herself say yes with her eyes in delicious and eager acquiescence. And moments later his lips were on hers, covering them with warmth, filling her with desire until she parted her lips and welcomed the sweetness of his tongue.

  Oh, God, she thought. Save me from this desire, this need, this man. She melted under his touch, bringing her body up to his, wanting to feel the hardness of his frame. Her hands slid hungrily along his back, moving up to his hair and plundering it with heated pleasure. She wanted to explore every part of him, to possess him completely. For she could feel his desire was as strong as her own, that he shared her wonder over the swiftness and depth of their passion.

  She tried to think of what she had meant to say, of what she had thought only moments before. But all she knew was that there was no fighting this utter melting in Ben's arms. This was something new, something she had never before experienced, even in her most intimate moments. From the deepest, most fiery core of her soul, she needed this man. And as his lips and tongue played with hers, as his expert hands roved along her hips and around her waist, she knew there was no resisting him.

  When he lifted his mouth from hers, his eyes were dark with desire. "I can't force you to tell me what's wrong, Kate," he rasped. "I can ask, and hope that you'll tell me because you feel the way I do—that we could have something very, very special if you would let it happen. And I can't change, or help, or do anything any differently, unless you tell me. I'm following your eyes, and your smiles, and all the cues I can follow. And they all tell me that when I take you in my arms, you want that. If I'm wrong, you have to tell me so."

  "Oh, you're not wrong," she said breathlessly, still warm and aching inside from his touch. "I wish that you were—but you're not."

  "Then, what is it?"

  "I don't know what to say except to tell you the truth. I'm uneasy; I don't like this feeling I have when we're together, when I'm in your arms. I feel as if I've lost

  control."

  A corner of his mouth lifted. "Don't you think I feel the same way?" he asked softly. "Why do you think I'm pursui
ng you like this? Don't you realize, Kate, you only feel this way when it's right—not when it's wrong?"

  "I-I don't know " she murmured. She tried to think:

  how nad she felt with Kurt, and with the others? Had she felt exhilaration, this heady whirl of emotions that threw reason to the winds?

  "Trust me," he whispered. "And I promise you something, Kate Churchill. Tonight it's all up to you. I want to be with you where we don't have phones ringing every two minutes and people ready to come in at any moment. "If I could"—he smiled—"I'd take you out to the countryside, t o a mountain cabin where you wouldn't be able to think of anything but romance. But even then, Kate, I'd follow your lead. It will be a night just to talk, perhaps— no advertising or retailing or office talk. That's the only rule. And we'll take it from there." He tilted his head. "If you're willing."

  S h e looked away from him; she couldn't think straight when she was caught in the silken strands of his gaze.

  "And if not," he said—she looked up, and he smiled— "If not, I'll just tote you up as hopelessly indecisive, and forget the whole thing."

  "You think you can goad me into it, don't you," she said , smiling.

  His eyes sparkled. "Can I?"

  She raised her brows and smiled in challenge. "Definitely not. And anyway, I forgot—it's Thursday night. The store is open late, and even though my staff goes home at five, I have to stay on."

  "Oh, it's my own doing, actually. I was having an argument one day—when I was assistant director of advertising—with the head cosmetics buyers. And I said I thought the heads of departments should be more in touch with the buying public. It was a good idea, but half made up of

  spite. Anyway, it became store policy a few weeks ago. And now we circulate through the store and talk to customers on a one-to-one basis." Kate shrugged. "Now I wish I had never suggested it; I was just trying to aggravate this woman. And there's no good reason the depan- ment heads can't do the same thing during the day."

  Ben looked thoughtful. "I don't really know that that's true, Kate—you have an entirely different market at nigh:. And I like the idea of getting out and meeting with the public. I like it a lot. I think we could do more with it."

  "Great. I was just thinking of trying to abolish the damn thing."

  Ben shook his head. "Uh-uh. Don't do a thing yet. Bu: I'll tell you what. I'll call you later after I talk to Coates about the other auditions. And if it can't be tonight, I'll have to goad you into some other night."

  She smiled as she gathered up her things and walked to the door. "Maybe," she said.

  He shook his head, his eyes dark and serious. "No maybes, Kate. Not anymore."

  And, as she looked at him one last time before she opened the door, she saw that he was dead serious.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  When Kate got back to her office that afternoon, there was a note on her telephone: call me the second you get in! from Alison.

  Alarmed, Kate picked up the phone and dialed Alison's extension before looking at the other messages Linda had left.

  Alison was talking nonstop before Kate had finished saying hello: "What the hell happened at that audition?" she said. "This girl came flying past my office today in tears, and I found out afterward that it was Dick Dayton's niece crying her eyes out over the audition at Ben Austin's agency."

  "What?" Kate said. "Why?"

  "You tell me. I don't know. I got this from Joan Samuels who got it from her secretary, who got it from Day- ton's secretary, so what we're dealing with here might not be a hundred percent reliable. But from what I understand she had thought she'd be chosen for the part—who the hell knows what that crazy Dick Dayton told her?— and then you and Austin and the rest of the agency people didn't say a word when she was finished. I don't know, Kate—she might even still be in Dayton's office. I saw

  them leave together for lunch, and I saw them come back a while ago."

  Kate swore under her breath. "I knew this would happen," she said. "The fact is, Ally, that that girl was far and away the best of anyone we saw. We didn't tell her she was coming back because that's not the way it's done—we're calling people afterward. But I argued with Ben about hiring her—I knew there would be problems because of her connection with the store."

  "Well, you've got them, Kate."

  And then Kate saw the phone message at the top of the pile: "11:00: Dick Dayton. Urgent." Underneath, it said, "Dick Dayton—11:30 a.m.—Urgent."

  "Listen," Kate said. "I'd better get off and call him before he has my head. There are two messages marked 'urgent' already."

  "Okay. But wait one second," Alison said. "What about Ben? What's happening with the two of you?"

  "I don't know, Alison," she answered, sighing. "I think I really messed it up. I'm so paranoid after Kurt and so indecisive that I just keep switching gears. I'm definitely driving him crazy."

  "Oh, come on. From the way you've described him, Kate, he sounds very unrufflable. I'm sure you're not driving him crazy except in a good way."

  "Well, everyone has his or her limits. Anyway, I'm driving myself crazy even if he's not bothered. Because, Ally, I really like him. That scares me, but it feels good, too."

  She heard Alison sigh. "Then, go for it, Kate. Go for him."

  Kate smiled. Suddenly, her only thought was Why not?

  Why not, when she had made so many mistakes before? Why not, when he seemed so right? He did seem different from the others. Why couldn't she allow herself to try, at least? "I think I just might do that," she said quietly. "I really think I might."

  A few moments later she said good-bye and dialed Dayton's extension.

  "Dayton," he barked.

  Had sign, Kate thought. He hadn't even let his secretary pick up.

  'Kate Churchill," she said.

  Silence. Then: "Would you come in here for a moment,

  please?"

  She bristled. True, had he been talking to a man at her corporate level he might have used the same words; but he definitely wouldn't have used such a commanding tone.

  I'm free in half an hour," she said. "But I can talk for a moment. What can I help you with?"

  We'll discuss it when you come in," he said, and hung up.

  Adrenaline raced through her. Damn him! And the part was that if she were angry with him when she went into his office, she would be called "emotional," a woman who "tends to fly off the handle." Whereas a man in the same situation would be called no-nonsense, or straighforward. She worked her way down through the rest of the phone messages, and exactly forty minutes after she had spoken to Dayton, left her office. True, she could have left ten minutes earlier and been on time, but she could play the power game as well as the best of them, and damn well would. Dayton was one of the most devoted practitioners

  of office politics and power plays at the store. His desk faced the door of his office, and his back was to the large picture window behind his desk. With the window facing south, visitors were often forced to look at Dayton and squint into the sunlight. And even without the sunlight the picture was of a large man framed by the sky and Manhattan's magnificent skyline—a man of power in a city of power. But Kate found him among the easiest of the corporate higher-ups to deal with. For he was predictable where he thought he was savvy, dull and plodding where he thought he was quick.

  Dayton kept her waiting—naturally. But she was finally shown in to his office, where she greeted Alexandra—I sitting on the couch with her portfolio at her side—cheerfully, as if nothing in the world were wrong. Then she looked expectantly at Dayton. "You wanted to see me about the audition, I assume," she said, taking a seat and training her clear brown eyes on him with a steadiness that belied her true feelings.

  He nodded, "Yes, Kate. And naturally, I would have rather met with you alone. But Alexandra wanted to hear! what you had to say."

  Kate knew she'd have to speak carefully. "About the audition—?"

  Dayton nodded.

  "I don't understand. Was th
ere a problem?"

  Dayton looked at her carefully. "You tell me."

  "Not as far as I was concerned. Alexandra, you did m lovely job. You have an excellent future ahead of you.'

  Alexandra looked surprised. "You didn't say that at Ihl agency," she said, her voice high and uncertain. Kate was amazed at how differently Alexandra acted when being

  herself rather than playing a part. She was shy, diffident, very uncertain of herself.

  "No, I didn't," Kate said. "Any encouragement or call ing back comes later, after we've had a chance to discuss each person's performance."

  Alexandra's eyes widened. "Oh. You mean—you liked me?"

  She sounded so sincerely innocent that Kate forgot her annoyance with Dayton and smiled. "Yes, of course. I'm sure we'll want to see you again." The girl's face lit up. " B ut that doesn't mean you'll be chosen," Kate hastily added. "I want to be sure you understand that."